Zombies are coming! What not to wear?

Arctic Tough 1st Sgt. Jonathan M. Emmett leads U.S. Army Alaska Aviation Task Force Soldiers assigned to Headquarters Company, 1-52 Aviation Regiment, at Fort Wainwright, Alaska, as they conduct Cold Weather Indoctrination Course II (CWIC) training November 19, 2015. These Soldiers completed a three-mile snow shoe ruck march to their bivouac site and spent the night sleeping in Arctic 10-man tents. CWIC training is required of all Soldiers assigned to U.S. Army Alaska annually to ensure America's Arctic Warriors have the knowledge and experience to survive, train, operate, fight and win in extreme cold weather and high altitude environments. (Photos by Spc. Liliana S. Magers, U.S. Army Alaska Public Affairs.)

A bit of a short article today. We’re crazy busy at the moment, so we’ll keep it short and to the point! Watching The Walking Dead and other zombie related productions, I’ve noticed the outfits worn by the characters are less than ideal in most cases. Wearing a sleeveless shirt and hot pants might look good on screen, but in any dangerous situation it just won’t do you any good. Let’s start with the biggest mistakes made in the Hollywood zombie scene regarding clothing.

  1. Short sleeves and/or pants
    This is huge in Hollywood, male actors will be showing their guns, both the metal and the fleshy ones. While female actors are often seen wearing hot pants, high boots and a sleeveless shirt. How these people survive is something that escapes me every time. In a real world setting they would get cuts everywhere, that would get infected and end their lives in a very unpleasant way.
  2. No gloves
    The lack of gloves in zombie movies is a detail a lot of people never notice. You use your hands for everything en they’re usually the first thing to get cut, burned, chafed or otherwise damaged. If you look at any profession where people work with their hands for physical labor, they’re wearing gloves. And for good reason! Imagine grabbing something that turns out to be sharp and rusty. Or pushing away a zombie. Would you like to push a walking corpse with your bare hands?
  3. No Eye and mouth protection
    This comes to mind in the scene from World War Z, where Brad Pitt gets some zombie goo in his mouth. He leans over the edge of a building, so he’ll fall to his death in case he gets infected. Meanwhile in The Walking Dead, Rick carelessly smashes skulls, getting spattered in blood and manages not to get any in his eyes or mouth! Despite the fact you could get infected from zombie goo and blood getting in your eyes or mouth. The idea of having rotten human corpse in my mouth, is enough motivation to wear at least glasses and a scarf.

These are the three major clothing faults I see in most zombie entertainment. It’s advisable to wear clothing that offers good protection from the infected, weather and other dangers. Some good Kevlar gloves, shooting glasses, a scarf and of course a good jacket and cargo pants. Wearing this will give you an advantage over your Hollywood counterparts.

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Written by Frank

Dutch guy living in Finland. Founded Zombie Guide Magazine in 2012 as a hobby project.. Which is still is to this day. Besides writing, my passions are fitness, the outdoors and good food.