Why Canada will survive the Zombie Apocalypse

canada zombies

In our “Why <your country here> will survive the zombie apocalypse” series we take a good look at what countries we believe would survive a zombie apocalypse. Then with a little humor and a big wink, we find some positive vibes and reasons why your country would survive. So, for our next candidate, I present to you: Why Canada will survive the Zombie Apocalypse!

1, Wilderness

Lot’s of open space. Canada is a big country with lots of wilderness with very low population densities. And the fewer people there are, the less people can turn into zombies to come and eat your brains. As Max Brooks mentioned in his book, find a place where your only enemy is nature. Fortunately for the Canadians, they have plenty of such places around.

Why Canada will survive the Zombie Apocalypse

2, Axes and Chainsaws

As we all know, axes and chainsaws have been the weapons of choice for many zombie hunters throughout history. With all the firewood the world could need or want combined in a single nation, the Canadians sure love their axes and chainsaws. Personally I think axes are better for an apocalyptic scenario because they don’t require fuel to operate, but if you do have access to fuel, a nice chainsaw will definitely help you during the first years of the outbreak.

Why Canada will survive the Zombie Apocalypse

3, Winter

Just like our earlier candidate Finland, Canada also has winters cold as balls. Now for some that might be a downside, but when the dead start rising this will be a huge asset. Not only will zombies just freeze and be easy targets to demolish, cold climates are also less prone to diseases breaking out after the streets fill up with rotting corpses. No bugs are going to carry the virus from a rotting zombie to a live human being when it’s too cold for them to survive. 

Why Canada will survive the Zombie Apocalypse

4, Kindness

That’s right, whenever a zombie stumbles upon a Canadian, the Canadian will just step out of the way and say “sorry eh”. Leaving the zombie utterly confused and probably stumble over while our Canadian hero carries on with his/her/(insert gender pronoun) day.

Why Canada will survive the Zombie Apocalypse

5, Canadian Whisky

Be it to forget the misery of the world going to hell in a hand-basket during the apocalypse, or just keeping warm in the dark zombie filled nights. The Canadians have a strong tradition of brewing quality Whisky that will warm their souls. Not only that, but some of it is so strong I bet it can kill a zombie! Or of course disinfect wounds, power that chainsaw or set fire to something. Bonus points for this stuff also tasting really good.

Why Canada will survive the Zombie Apocalypse

Okay to throw in a little bonus number 6.. Ice Hockey! Just imagine a bunch of Canadians skating around a zombie to mess with it, to then smack his head off with a hockey stick! 

Why Canada will survive the Zombie Apocalypse

I hope you all enjoy these reasons why countries would survive the zombie apocalypse. If you do and you believe your home country would survive too, let me know and we’ll feature it. If not, well I’m sure I’ll get to it eventually anyway.

Originally posted 2019-10-20 13:55:23.

What do you think?

514 points
Upvote Downvote

Written by Frank

Dutch guy living in Finland. Founded Zombie Guide Magazine in 2012 as a hobby project.. Which is still is to this day. Besides writing, my passions are fitness, the outdoors and good food.