Top 10 uses for WD40 during a zombie apocalypse

Franklyundead

The reason I’m writing this is because I ran into a list of 2000 uses for WD40, while searching for a faster way to break in leather army boots. It turns out WD40 does an amazing job at making the leather supple, water proofing and making the boots look even better. It also cleans them btw! So this event lead me to some creative ways to use WD40 in a zombie apocalypse.

  1. Stop squeaky noises
    Nothing says you’re fucked more than giving away your position by making noises. It might be a car door, a hinge on your shelter door or pieces of gear that get rusty or just cause some friction. An example of this is a few months into the apocalypse, you see a building you want to enter. Before doing so, spray some WD40 on the hinges of the door, to make sure you can enter without alarming any zombies.
  2. Starting a fire
    A no-brainer here, this stuff is flammable so you can use it to start a fire very quickly. Now I know people might say it’s easier to just pack some tinder and matches. And for starting your everyday fire, they’re probably right. WD40 will be sparse and valuable, so don’t use it for every fire. But saving it for that rescue fire that needs to get going RIGHT NOW! Because there’s a chopper that might save you. Or setting fire to larger area’s and getting away quickly. Or of course making a torch when you don’t have a flashlight.
  3. Shoe maintenance
    This is my very reason to write this article and it’s a damn good one. Your shoes, preferable strong leather boots, will carry you wherever you need to go. Nothing will slow you down more than having infectious blisters, because those knock off Converse shoes just weren’t made for endless days on the road. So far the effects I’ve noticed on leather boots are the following: Makes the leather supple, waterproofs it, makes it breathe and it cleans it. So no need to run out of shoe polish, this is a another use of WD40.
  4. Clean metal
    Most of your weapons will be metal objects. Once you run out of bullets and other projectiles, you’ll be down to swords, machetes and blunt objects. Using these in harsh conditions and having them covered in blood and guts all the time, will cause them to rust. This is bad, because cutting yourself or someone else on accident will result in infection. The rust will also decrease the strength and effectiveness of your weapons. Treating it with WD40 will clean it and keep it rust free!
  5. Keep your vehicle going
    There are too many uses for WD40 on any vehicle, varying from a bike to a space shuttle. Preventing corrosion, cleaning, lubing, removing blood stains and brains from the hood. If you can imagine it, WD40 can probably do it for your vehicle of choice.
  6. Make an alarm
    This one is a bit creative, but given the slow and clumsy nature of zombies, you might make them trip using WD40. Say you’re in a building, on one of the top floors. You spray the staircase with WD40 and wait for the zombies to slip and fall flat on their face! They might even crush their own skull while falling. And very important, alarm you that they’re on their way! This might also work for other survivors that want to sneak up on you. I say go “home alone” on their asses with WD40!
  7. Gun maintenance
    Apparently the manufacturer of WD40 actually advertises with the fact that you can use their product to maintain an M16A2 rifle, AK-47 and any other gun. If it can maintain a rifle, it can clean any other gun and/or weapon I suppose. I would put this higher on the list, but I don’t think we’ll run out of lubricants for firearms any time soon. It’s also flammable, so that might be a problem when “over lubricating” your gun. Something that isn’t a problem with special gun lubricants. So using WD40 for this is a last ditch resort.
  8. Cleans equipment
    This is ingrained in all the other points as well, but it deserves a separate mention due to its importance. From cleaning infectious blood off medical equipment, to keeping your hands and keys clean. You can basically keep everything you’re hauling around during the apocalypse clean with this stuff.
  9. Zippers
    Some might argue that this is such a specific use, that it shouldn’t make a top 10 list. But let me explain.. When you’re out in the dirt all day, that dirt gets everywhere. One of the first things it will obstruct, are zippers. And as you know, zippers are on everything. Your pants, backpack, jacket, tents… That’s probably the main locking mechanism for everything you still own during a zombie apocalypse. Nothing spells a shitty week like not being able to close your bag with all your clothes and fire starters in them during a rain storm. Or standing in heavy winds with a jacket that wont close. To find yourself with a horrible cold and snotty nose afterwards. Being able to close zippers will become a life saver in these conditions. Trust me, you’ll want your zippers to work..
  10. Cure a zombie infection
    Now nobody can prove this yet because there aren’t any zombies around now. But if the manufacturer of a product can already come up with 2000 uses for their product. And fans come up with new uses for it every day. I won’t be surprised if WD40 is the fucking cure to the zombie virus! Or will at least prevent the infection from spreading when you spray it on a zombie bite.
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