My owner tried to eat me. He weighs four-hundred pounds, you see.
At first, I just thought he was hungry, but it turned out he was a zombie.
My owner was trapped by his own weight, stuck in his reclining chair.
Thank heavens he couldn’t reach me, much to his despair.
It took me quite a while to realize his plight.
I’m a wee little pug and lack the ability to fight.
For three long days I sat and stared.
I must admit, I was way beyond scared.
Who was this strange green man who once fed me puppy chow?
And what the hell was I going to eat now?
I wasn’t the type of dog that could hunt for meat.
My food came in a can, and every day I’d get a treat.
But after my owner turned, my situation started looking dire.
The only food around was zombie meat, but his flesh I did not desire.
I gave up my morals after another hunger filled day.
I nibbled on my owner’s leg, much to his dismay.
He tried to snatch me and take a big bite,
But I’m a fast pug, and I scurried out of sight.
I fled into the dining room and hid under the table.
I felt satisfied with my small meal, finally feeling stable.
After my dinner of zombie flesh, I took a long nap.
I fell asleep instantly, but woke up feeling like crap.
I wanted… no, I needed meat,
So I crept back to my owner’s feet.
I was about to take a bite of his rotting flesh,
But I realized that I was craving something fresh.
I needed to eat living meat. Any kind would do.
I would even eat another pug. I know it’s sad, but true.
So I left my home as a zombie pug, searching for meat with my snout.
Finally, I was the hunting type. It’s funny how things work out.
Jordan’s Brains: A Zombie Evolution is now available on Kindle http://www.amazon.com/Jordans-Brains-Zombie-Evolution-ebook/dp/B00DB9IUPO/ref=la_B00CYRYRCE_1_1_title_0_main?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1371003666&sr=1-1