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Summer trouble, June 18, 1990

I am four years old chunky, with a short natural curly hair cut, my ears are curve from the center of my earlobes. I wear a red long sleeve shirt, blue jeans always smiling.  My mama is wearing a long navy blue dress with tan high heel sandals, with braided tan straps gift wrap high as a tower encircling her legs.  Maria and I are walking the streets of our town San Juan, just to get out of the house. As we walk encircle the marketplace, I behold on the market’s road seal supply with unmovable plentiful dark beige vendors carts. One vendor sells newly shave and clean assort colors of wool, another vendor sells pieces of furniture from the 1920s. Other vendors sells men, women, and children seasonal clothes while the rest sells newly sweet pick produces from trees, crops drupes of harvest times. My mama and I are at a clothing vendor that is own by a slender elderly salt hair color, hazel eyes sitting on a silver-brown chair. I behold Maria as she look-see a dress that is in her exact size while some of my father’s assort weight and height classes’ friends wearing dirty white t-shirts, uniron jeans, and tan boots walks up to Maria to ask her. “Where is Ron?”

“I don’t know where my husband is, nonetheless if you see him in the days that will go by please tell him to come home his family needs him.”

Maria is tire grab my hand to walk back home. When we get there, I behold her in the kitchen cooking dinner while I am sitting at the table, coloring some pictures in picture book. While Mya is sitting next to me, listening to her favorite music on her black CD player. Suddenly, the back door swings open, and standing there is my Pater. Looking like he have been living in the jungle for a long time wearing a ripped up sleeveless t-shirt, dirt strained blue jeans, and torn tan boots. Pater is hairier with a long unshaven beard. We all get up from the table rush over to my Pater. We hug him.

“We miss you.” “I miss you too.”

My mama tells Mya and I. “Go to your rooms, I need to talk to your father alone!” As Mya pick up out of my baby chair to walk upstairs for my soror to lay me in my miniature bed covered in my dinosaurs stickers print bed set across from my window. We hear a loud male voice coming from outside. The man was riding encircling the whole island demanding that everyone stay inside their homes at all times.  Maria is cross-questioning Ron about where he have been for the last two days. From out of nowhere Ron skin color turns a sickly green-dark brown-pale and foam is coming out of his mouth. He attacks Maria as he just stands there listening to her speak to him. Mya walk out my bedroom to sit on the top step of the staircase to listen to what mama have to say. She screams.  “Get away from me.” Ron gape at her ugly facial expression while his mouth foam. He stop for a second to get his brain back in order to keep from attacking her again but he try to attack her again.

“Stay away from me, I don’t know what is wrong with me!” Ron run out the front door running into the backyard of the house.

 Maria carefully and slowly followed him into the backyard. My backyard was large with a concrete slabs pathway leading to a rusty metal shred where my father keeps his tools in. Ron stands near the shred ducking down with his hands holding both sides of his head trying to fight off his whatever he was trying to fight off state of moods My mama walk up to him, he gape at her with red foam dripping from his mouth. Ron was ready to attack my mama again but he stop in his attack.  Mama walk encircle him and backward to the door of the shred, she open the door and lure him inside without closing the door. Ron keeps fighting his uncontrollable emotion. Mama pick up a shovel that was lying on the ground and hit Ron in the head hard that she croak him. Maria drag my father’s body further inside of the back of the tool shed to leave him there. She run back inside to scream to Mya and me.

“Pack your bags. We’re moving to the States!”

She runs to my room to help me pack my bags, while Mya is already quickly packing her bags standing in front of the door. After Maria finish helping me pack my bags, I run out of my room carefully down the stairs to walk to the door to stand there next to my soror. My mama run to her room going under her bed to grab her rolling white suitcase. She put the suitcase on the bed, takes as much clothes out of her drawers packing her suitcase. Mama grab her money green work bag lays it on the bed. She goes into her bottom drawer to pull all our important family documents out putting them into the bag.  Mama run out the room with both the suitcase and her bag in her hands while I gape in my mama’s heart-rending eyes I sense that whatever rationalization that has her moving us out of our homeland to the states. I feel Maria is trying to avoid the dynamic drama of the rationality that we have to leave our homeland from out of nowhere. As we are finally ready to leave, Mya open the door we walk out to the car, put all our bags into the backseat of the car, and get in. Mya strap into my car seat Mama start the car drive on a road away from the house. While Maria was driving, I ask.

“Where is Pater?”

“Your Pater is staying back at the house to see if I forgot any other important documents.”

“Pater is coming with us?” ask Mya.

“Your Pater should be coming soon to meet us at the docks.”

“Where are we going?” I ask

Mama did not say anything she continue to drive on hidden roads I gape out of my window as the orange wood trees change into long tall branches of waxy needles species of leaves closing in on a large body of water. An old huge grey white cargo ship was sitting at the dock being loaded by the ship’s crewmen on a lengthy orange wood dock bay.  She stop the car at the side entrance to the dock. We get out of the car, my soror unstrap me out of my car seat, pick up to stand near her as she unload the backseat of the car. My mama is standing at the front of the car, seeing if there is a way we can sneak onto the ship. Suddenly, the ship’s horn rings loud to signal that it was time to leave to their destination. I cover my earlobes until I sense the rings of the ship’s horn has stop. Maria, Mya, and I runs to the ship I lost the cling on the handle of my bag dropping it on the shave field of ground. I try to go back to get my bag but Mama’s cling is strong at least for that night. When we get to the ship we behold the last of the tone big-headed navy blue t-shirt, tan pants crew is walking to their rest spots inside of the ship. We run onto the rusty old metal plank to as it is moving away from the dock.  My mama, soror, and I sneak encircling the mushroom shape rusty metal stands that are tie with ropes to keep the ship’s towering white sails secure, a box shape hole is near the captain quarters as that where the captain steers the ship out of danger deck. Maria, Mya, and I sneak down the creeping steps staircase into the ship’s core. We sneak encircle the dark inside of the ship’s cargo storage to hide in the darkest corner below the decks near giant boxes of goods. For the ship’s ride during the night we cuddle up together, I cannot sleep while mama is barely able to fall to sleep and Mya is listening to her music on her black CD player.

“Did you say that Pater was coming soon?’ I ask.

“I did your Pater should be coming on the next boat.”

krbernard

Written by krbernard

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