We all have at one point worked a desk job. 70% of the global workforce is compromised of office-based, white-collar, jobs. 1.5 billion of this percentage work from a cubicle. Working from cubicles suck. 90% of those who work in a cubicle say that is the worst part of the job. With us spending 90,000 hours of our life at work chance are when the zombies raise there is a good chance you’ll be at work. Here are some Office Supply Hacks..
Though we forget about these little guys’ existence, Americans spend 11 billion dollars on paper clips. Paper clips do a lot more than hold our papers together. If you rub it with a magnet and put it in some water you’ll have yourself a makeshift compass. If your pull don tab on your zipper breaks, you can quickly fix it by applying a paper clip to it. The steel of a paperclip is quite flexible making it easy for you to shape it into a hook, finger splint, or tiny meat skewer. If you unravel one and sharpen the end, you can have yourself a blow dart to kill small prey with.
Pens are a viable part of the business industry. The American office industry buys 1.4 million pens a year. There isn’t a day in your office life where you won’t be using a pen at least once for work. Just as useful as they are in the workplace, they are just as good in a survival situation. Hollow it out to make a straw. Use the tip to clean out your shoe trends. If the pen has a spring to it, take it out and shape it the way you would a paper clip.
Despite what you may think, pencils are still a thing in society. Every year in the US we buy two billion of them. Today, pencils are mostly used by students, but that doesn’t mean you won’t see them in the office. I should clarify for the sake of this article we will be talking about the yellow no. 2 pencils, not mechanical pencils. You can use them in the garden as stakes for vine plants. These pencils are often made of cider, so their shavings can be used to repel moths. Zipper stuck, run the lead along the teeth to lubricate it.
While we’re on the subject of pencils lets talk about its best friend, the sharpener. Like its friend, it is greatly undervalued in society. Insert a thin stick to make wood shaving tinder. You can use the case to make a small fishing or sewing kit so you don’t lose the little things. The blade is sharp and can be easily taken out to be used as a small knife. Before you take it apart you should sharpen your sticks and paper clips for weapons.
Four million staplers are sold each year in the US, and they each bring along a pack of 1,000 staples to break them in. Staplers are so symbiosis with cubicle life that there is usually a running stapler joke in all office themed comedies. For survival though, you can do a lot with staplers. You can suture a wound with staples, but remember to sterilize first. You can hang up tarps to block out windows. If heavy enough you can use it as a bludgeoning weapon on your enemy, or zombie.