How to recycle a zombie

s1e2_mourningThis may seem like an odd title to you… But believe me, it’s not. These days, with plenty resources, we already have to watch our carbon footprint and recycle a lot of items. Now, this won’t be any different after the apocalypse! You might not have to watch that carbon footprint, but you will have to spare your resources! And what better way to do that, than turning the dead into something useful?

Safety first, they’re highly infectious, so be sure to wear goggles, tough gloves and a mouth guard at all times! Also, you might want to cover your clothes from the mess to come…

Okay, to the fun part! You just smashed the zombies skull, so you can forget about the head. We’re going to check his clothing first. Maybe he has the same size shoes, coat, or something good in his pockets! Remember, there will be zombies with complete survival gear still strapped to their backs! These will be survivors that got bit and kept on moving. You’re lucky to find such zombies, because they’ll be an easy target due to their heavy load and clumsiness!

When clothing and possible gear is confiscated (and washed), we get to the gross part. I know this is a former human being, but he did try to kill you! Plus, whoever it was, is no longer there. So… Did you know that human thigh bone is about 8 times stronger than concrete? You get where I’m going right? Removing such a strong bone from the leg would make a great weapon!

Wep_boneclubThe thigh bone would be 5 times stronger than a steel baseball bat! So, get your knife out and start cutting out that bone! Get out some other bones too, to make small pikes, or another bat. Once out, clean them thoroughly and disinfect them. Now, put some duck-tape around the part you want for a handle and you’re done! The supply of these clubs is endless and roaming the earth! Of course these will get weaker over time, but you can just cut out some fresh ones.

Now, enough cutting and bleeding. The rest of the zombie is rather useless and highly contagious (depending on the kind of outbreak of course). So I suggest you leave this somewhere, burn it or bury it.

Ow, and I wouldn’t try my luck escaping a horde covered in zombie guts…

What do you think?

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Written by Frank

Dutch guy living in Finland. Founded Zombie Guide Magazine in 2012 as a hobby project.. Which is still is to this day. Besides writing, my passions are fitness, the outdoors and good food.