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How to pick your melee weapon.

374561_561444020549421_760630574_nAs many of you might know, the zombie apocalypse isn’t going to start at a convenient time. You’re not going to be sitting at home, with all your gear and supplies at hand. You’ll probably be at work, on holiday, stuck in your car or public transport. So, that also means you probably won’t have a gun with you!

Okay, we’ve established that you’re probably going to be in a situation that’s totally FUBAR and you need to improvise. Here’s a list of criteria your improvised melee weapon should have.

Strength. Simple as that, a skull is hard to bash and you’ll probably have to do this multiple times. Also, you need to use it for breaking windows, opening doors and smashing other items. Test your weapon by beating it against something very heavy. That way you know its strength and how it feels.

Weight. You’re weapons should be heavy enough to inflict a lot of damage, but not to heavy to handle properly. Keep in mind that you have to carry it around and use it a lot. So weight is very important! Also, the weight has to be balanced and preferably have a little more weight on the end you swing against the zombie’s head.

Handle. The weight part brings us to the handling. Make sure the weapon is easy to master. Don’t use a katana if you don’t know how to operate it! Tak a cast iron rod, wooden bat, parking meter, just whatever you can master easily and smash heads with.

zombie-batSize. Size matter! Now bigger won’t always be better, because killing a zombie with a flag post will be hard! When using a blunt weapon, consider a baseball bat the maximum length. If you’re improvising a spear, try to keep it short. About 2/3 of your own height would be great.

Effectiveness. This might seem obvious, that the weapon should be effective. But consider that whatever weapons may work on the living, might not work on the dead. A long chain with a lock might beat up a person, but bashing a skull with it is hard! Keep it simple, strong, easy and brutal!

Well, these are the criteria for improvising a melee weapon. Don’t bother with improvising knives and aiming for eye sockets. Zombies don’t bleed out, you can’t cripple them with a knife and you have to get too close. Knives are survival tools for building a shelter or so, blunt melee weapons are the way to go for smashing skulls.

Just a little last tip. Aluminum baseball bats will break really fast and have less mass. Get a wooden one, or check your DIY store for gardening tool…

Let us know what your improvised weapon would be!

Tanks and APC’s instead of a shelter

My submission for man crates