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    The Best and Worst Places to be When Zombies Attack

    The Best Places to Be When Zombies Attack: A Walmart Superstore – This one is a no-brainer. Walmart Superstores have everything, and some of them even carry guns and ammunition (jackpot!). If you’re lucky enough to get caught in a Redneck Walmart, your first stop should be the firearms section. Get yourself a Windham SRC […] More

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    Useful Professions for the Zombie Apocalypse

    Last week I packed up all my belongings and moved across the country, and I’m starting my brand new job tomorrow. Changing careers made me consider whether or not my job as a docket clerk would benefit me during the zombie apocalypse. The answer is a big fat NO! So I was trying to think […] More

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    Proper Etiquette for Looting a Store

    Everyone knows that once the zombies invade, all hell will break loose, and there will be no more laws. All stores will be fair game, and people will just take whatever they want. A Costco just opened up about a mile away from my house, and my first thought was, “Yup, that’s the first place […] More

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    Zombietopia: A Short Story

    Year: 2055 I never thought the zombie apocalypse would actually make the world a better place. Zombies were supposed to be flesh-eating corpses wreaking havoc on the planet. It turns out Romero had it all wrong. Two years ago, people started changing into zombies without showing any signs of infection. It took the government way too long to […] More

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    Zombie Brains: A Short Story

    When I was still alive, I was kind of an asshole. Truth be told, I never really cared about anyone but myself. I refused to pay attention to others, only interacting with people when I needed something. Women were all the same to me. The hotter the better; and I wasn’t the type of guy […] More

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    Till Death Do Us Part

    While Molli slept soundly next to the man of her dreams, the streets outside her one-bedroom apartment were swarming with the undead. Molli and her bedmate were oblivious to the zombie infestation taking place right outside the window. They had stumbled home in the middle of the night, unknowingly being stalked by the undead. Young […] More

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    The Beauty of Zombies

    Venus Justus was an ugly duckling throughout grade school, but she didn’t turn into a swan. No, she grew up to become something much more valuable: a duck that didn’t give a shit. Ironically, Venus’ parents named her after the goddess of beauty, but with her beak nose, weak chin, and mousy hair, Venus was anything but […] More

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    The Ballad of the Zombie Pug

    My owner tried to eat me. He weighs four-hundred pounds, you see. At first, I just thought he was hungry, but it turned out he was a zombie. My owner was trapped by his own weight, stuck in his reclining chair. Thank heavens he couldn’t reach me, much to his despair. It took me quite […] More

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    Zombie Prepping for Parents

    My five-month-old daughter woke me up way too early this morning, and seeing her smiling face reminded me of how grateful I am that zombies don’t exist (yet). Sure, they’re fun to write about, but a real zombie apocalypse would make parenthood exponentially harder. Parents of young children suffer from lack of sleep as it […] More