3 common survival items that are useless

1 – Tinder sticks

Didn’t even really bother to look up the proper name for these items. They’re the little magnesium like sticks you can make sparks with. They’re this huge hype with “outdoor folk”, people in suburbs with trucks and all, or rooftop survival people in cities. Of course you could actually use them to make fire with, but is this really what you want to walk around with?! You need to find dry tinder somewhere, build up a nice nest to make a fire and slowly nourish it to life. And what if you lose it? Or it breaks? Or it’s on your key ring and it falls? Besides that, I’m sure it’s super convenient to sit next to some plucked dry grass and create sparks for a while before it catches fire…. Nope! They’re inpractical, expensive and rather pointless. Just buy a large pack of Bic lighters and put one in every pocket. Both in your pants, smock jacket, backpack and wrap a few in ducttape in case you jump into a large body of water. Way cheaper, there will be lighters to find working everywhere for the forseable future, you can keep several of them anywhere and they’ll give you instant fire. Now stop being a yuppie outdoorsy kinda fellow and just buy a normal lighter.

2 – Water purification tablets

Okay so every time you need to get a drink, while zombies and enemies might be everywhere, you’re going to take your time and boil water? Or scoop water out of a ditch, patiently let it drip though your own filter, add tablets that make you consume as much crap as drinking out of a swimming pool and take your time until it’s all purified and settled? Maybe make some tea while you’re at it? Ah damn right in the middle of my tea break and zombies show up! Good thing you just had all your medical gear (because that’s where you put those tabs) unpacked, you have water boiling and just sat down! No not so good at all.. What you want, is a bunch of those survival straws that you can stick in any body of water and just drink! See a ditch with water? Great, you can now fully re-hydrate in under 30 seconds! And guess what? These puppies purify up to 25.000 liters of water! Without ever making it taste horrible, or slowly fucking up your intestines.

3 – Tent

Yea don’t bring this shit. Buy one of those goretex bags the army uses to put around a sleeping bag, use your fully packed backpack as a head rest and have your weapon next to you. In a situation where you might need to bolt in a second, you don’t want to be bothered breaking down a tent first. Yea but I have a car! So it’s easy to take it with me! Then sleep in your car… With the key in the ignition…. On the drivers seat… The only scenario where you might need a tent is in a permanent encampment with walls around it. Or on a safe island, before you’ve built a house. Look if you get a lightweight tent, it will break. If you get a heavy tent, you can’t walk with for long. So, if you’re plan is to nomad around the apocalypse, under no circumstances do you need a tent. Only get one if you have a clear plan where to put it up (semi)permanently, where zombies can’t come. Ow and another thing about tents… If you decide to sleep in one and there are zombies OR humans, there’s only one way out. Or two, but that doesn’t work against humans. Don’t believe me? Google the workings of a rabbit hole. And how we catch them. Basically a two way tent underground.

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Written by Frank

Dutch guy living in Finland. Founded Zombie Guide Magazine in 2012 as a hobby project.. Which is still is to this day. Besides writing, my passions are fitness, the outdoors and good food.